


The Kids From Yesterday/This Is Where I Leave You

by karusarchive (cluelesskaru)



Series: We Once Were All Here [4]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M, Pitfall, the last thing Mako Mori needed to say do Chuck hansen, the last thing Mako Mori needed to say to Chuck Hansen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cluelesskaru/pseuds/karusarchive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well now this could be the last of all the rides we take / So hold on tight and don't look back<br/>Here we are and we won't stop breathing / Yell it out 'till your heart stops beating / We are the kids from yesterday, today"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kids From Yesterday/This Is Where I Leave You

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** The lyrics in the summary are from The Kids From Yesterday, by My Chemical Romance, all rights to them (this was obviously highly influenced by this song). Also, everything else here belongs to Travis Beacham and Guillermo Del Toro and even Alex Irvine (his novelization of the movie was what finally compelled me to write this).  
>  So yeah. I'll probably never run out of pacrim feelings.
> 
> Thank you reeveiga for always being such an incredible beta.

**Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 12, 2025**

This all happens during a heartbeat, this all happens through a stare.

This could be the last of all the rides they take. For all they know, _it is_ the last one. No one’s saying it aloud, but the entire Shatterdome knows it nevertheless. Mako patiently awaits Chuck to look back at her, and then he does, and they hold between them all of their pasts and stolen future

Chuck just said goodbye to his father, and Mako is startled to see tears in his eyes, tears he doesn’t even bother trying to hide. She’s crying herself, and allows Raleigh to go ahead into the Ponn. Her co-pilot lingers, waiting for her to catch up - loyal, golden - and with the Drift Hangover he feels she wants to be left alone, and so he does so.

They don’t care now about the messages and the rules that were built around them. Mako is 18 again, Chuck is 18 again. And they remember the pain they mean to one another. They remember all the dark that is set in their lives, and they remember a promise.

_“You can live forever in the lights you make.”_

Mako wants to say many things. She knows all the eyes are on them, especially on Chuck Hansen, the best Jaeger pilot right now. Maybe ever? That’s what people want to believe anyway, that Chuck is the _solution._ They’ve been watching for an accident and all the stars he ate (so he could be one too). But people only care if the pilots can bleed, because they shouldn’t bleed, because heroes can’t cry or hurt.

She wonders if right now sensei feels worse than ever, if all the pills make any difference in his poisoning, about how much longer he would’ve lived if it weren’t for Pitfall. She wonders if anyone other than her cares about all the people Stacker Pentecost needs to be. There is a lump in her throat, and still Chuck looks into her eyes, like he knows what she’s thinking, like he is thinking about his old man’s longevity too.

Mako still goes back to a memory of her own, all of the time. It is what burns inside her chest, just like Chuck’s promise to be a _good boy_ (even though she doesn’t know that). The promise she made to herself was that she would revenge her family. A simple enough promise, a surely impossible task. When she swore that to herself she never could have known what was ahead of her or how broad the word **family** would become. She wants, for some reason, to smile at Chuck. But it isn’t in her.

Today they are kids again, she has a brick in hand and, this time, she wants to smash the window so they can all get out. Is that a metaphor? She does feel like the personification of one right now. Today they are kids again, it feels like it was yesterday when Mako could have loved Chuck, but instead chose to hate him. Today she remembers that the first time she truly listened to a song, was when her heart was broken, and it was because of Chuck Hansen. She always hated him for reminding her of the promise she swore she’d never forget. It was only a lapse, but a lapse was enough. She hates him for being more committed than her, even if it was only in that fateful day.

 

The moment slips through the cracks, and Chuck nods at her. And through the mask of awful Chuck puts back on, the one he wears everyday, Mako sees his pain. She _knows_ him better than most, and he knows she does, and right now, they are both grateful for each other. Mako nods back. She doesn’t say anything.

They hold themselves tight and they don’t look back.

 

“...Eight… seven…”

The drop countdown continues. As Mako and Raleigh’s minds merge together. Something about her thoughts sparker a realization in Raleigh’s drifting mind.  Mako was thinking about the _what if’s._

“All these years, I’ve been living in the past,” Raleigh says out loud, even though he didn’t need to. There isn’t anyone else in the world they’d rather be with in that Conn-Pod. Mako feels almost guilty. Raleigh feels goddamn lucky. Around them, Gipsy Danger’s command and control systems come online, “I never really thought about the future,” he goes on. “Until now.”

There’s irony in there with them. Mako thinks about Stacker, about Chuck. And Raleigh thinks about her, and about Yancy and Jazmine. It’s bittersweet. Mako is again losing a home just to find another, and all for the same fucked up reason. Raleigh reaches out and touches Mako’s hand.

Nothing like a suicide mission to make you think about the future.

“I guess I never did have good timing.” It’s unclear who said it, but it doesn’t matter, they’re both thinking it.

Gypsy Danger’s head dropped down the shaft towards the deployment bay, the roar of the guide rails overwhelming whatever else would be said out loud. But it’s not like they needed to speak in the Drift. Again a shared thought is formed, like their minds came up with it as one: " _No turning back now."_

Mako nods crisply at their thoughts, but doesn’t allow her mind to wander. There’s this tiny moment when she slips, though. She knows exactly what those monsters took from her (and still they wanted more and more), but she also knows what they have given her. So she washes away the hate in her heart, focusing on pure determination. Mako then smiles at Raleigh the truest and most painful smile she has ever smiled in her life.

 

Six hours later the jumphawks drop Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger - all their external ports sealed shut - into a thick fog to hit the surface of the ocean with a titanic double splash. Neural handshake holding strong, inside the Drift, that journey took years. Mako allowed Raleigh to keep her really close, to look into her eyes and say millions of things, all the one’s she wanted to hear and the ones she did not, but needed to anyway.

Mako was ready to die in there alright, with her sensei and Chuck. But Raleigh? She wanted so bad for Raleigh to live. Truth be told, she could do with her own death, she’d been cheating it since she was a kid anyway. But how much time was sensei sacrificing? Who was he today? What life had Chuck denied? Who could he have been? Why did Raleigh came back? Could have he found another calling? Given the chance, could any of them all be the same after all this?

Stacker would die anyway. Given a chance to be a better person, Chuck would still be a messed up asshole. And Raleigh was already hers... Was he not?

She could feel Raleigh’s strenght pulsing through her. He is just like sensei, stubborn to the core, not letting go, golden. Mako herself is more distant star than burning sun -- you know it burns, but can’t feel the heat.

“Switching to instruments.” Raleigh announces to the LOCCENT. They are blind, it is time.

They didn’t see Raiju coming

 

 

**There are no heroes in a world where heroes can’t die.**

 

 

"Mako, listen, you can finish this.” **No.**  Mako’s brain freezes at Stacker’s words, and Gipsy twitches in response. “I'll always be here for you. You can always find me in the Drift."

She doesn’t want to, she can’t. But there’s nothing else they can do. Raleigh overwhelms her with something really strong. It’s his response to loss, she realizes. He’s been there before and he’s being strong instead of scared. Holding on for both of them.

“What can we do, sir?” Chuck’s voice is almost too much, and a soundless sob escapes Mako.

“We can clear a path for the lady”

A heartbeat of silence, and Chuck’s voice comes back, “Like my father always said, if you have a shot, take it.” Mako rolls her shoulders back, she’s got this. She has too. She knows what to do. “It’s been a pleasure serving with you, sir.”

“Sensei aishitemasu” Mako says, hurriedly. She opens her mouth to say the rest, to the one more thing she so desperately needs to say.

But right in the next millisecond, Stacker Pentecost detonates the nuclear payload.

In the LOCCENT, Striker Eureka’s readouts go dark.

On the seafloor, Gipsy Danger gets back to her feet.

In the Conn-Pod, Mako Mori sucks in a trembling breath. Gipsy's pilots stand in sync in a fight or flight response. She doesn’t have time for that, she can’t think of what she never got to say. She can’t dwell on how Chuck Hansen died without any kind words. Raleigh mirrors back her thoughts, he feels her mourning, and he kindly shares his strength with her - she’s so,  _so_ grateful for him -. There are many people Mako will miss and she’s scared if she’ll get to see the one’s that are gone.

 

When Mako starts fading, she feels more than sees Raleigh grab onto Slattern with Gipsy Danger’s operative arm and she uses her final conscious thoughts to help him in the movement. Her last thought is what she didn’t get to say to Chuck:

_“We'll find you when the sun goes black.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

In another reality, Chuck would have lived. Mako would have been the godmother of his first child, and when they turned 40 years old, they would stare into each others eyes, and through that look, they’d know all the secrets of the world.

 In this reality she finds a way to be happy, Raleigh is always there to help her put the pieces back together. It’s hard, but she finds it. Because Mako Mori doesn’t yield, she faces. She learned that when she was a kid in Hong Kong, she learned how to in that last moment she was a kid, at the Jaeger Academy.

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and kudos more than I love puppy dogs.


End file.
